Hobo Punch
The spectacular Hobo Punch is an amazing thing indeed. It is an excellent way of gaining power and control over those in your small community. How does it do this, you may be asking yourself. Well we are glad you asked. History The story of the creation of the Hobo Punch is a great one full of blood, sweat, tears, and heartbreak. One day, on an North American hill, an unemployed stargazer looked up at the starless sky. The poor man knew nothing about how the world worked and how there was night and day. To be honest, he thought stars were boiling masses of fire (we all know they are just little pieces of light floating in the sky, duh). Now do not think poorly of his foolish misgivings for he was a great inventor. Anyway, some nearby children asked him if he would join their volleyball game. Of course, never before had he been allowed to play those reindeer games, so he tried it. Five children against him, he stood no chance. His serves poor, his bumps: painful, and his volleys, well just revolting. He began to anger at the thought of being beaten, so when the ball next came to him, he punched it as hard as he could. The kids were too busy snickering and pointing to notice and the ball hit a kid straight in the face, rendering him helpless. It was his serve, and he tried the same technique and found yet another child knocked out cold by his new invention. He went on to become the Unofficial President of the Unofficial Volleyball Club, and won many unofficial games and tournaments using his signature move, the Hobo Punch. How Does it Work: Mechanics First of all, we would like to tell you that the Hobo Punch is dangerous and we are not responsible for any injuries or damages that come out its use. Thank you. Serves Let us start with serves, nicknamed the Hobo Serve. Once its your turn to serve just throw the ball into the air directly above you. Not too hard or it may disrupt your mid-juplotin portanium (sorry, trying to make it sound fancy) and cause you to miss. Next you can jump up to meet it although that part is optional but recommended, and then just hit it. Do ''not ''hit it with your fingers because this could cause alot of unneeded pain and suffering. Make sure you hit it with your knuckles instead. Regular/Spike Next we have the regular and original Hobo Punch. To do this just simply wait for the ball to come to you and when it does, use basically the same mechanics. If its too high above you jump for it; if not continue as usual and punch it. Always hit it with your knuckles and nothing else. Now if you are at the back, make sure you have the angles right and you hit it hard enough, because if not, it may just bounce off the net and give the other team a pont. If you're in the front row there's also some things you gotta' know. If you have to jump for it, don't. Most likely if you are too close to the net, the ball will bounce back behind you, making it even harder for those in the back row to hit it. Instead just let it go over. There are some other things you should know if you plan on Hobo Punching in the front row. Don't hit it too hard, because if you're playing indoors it may hit the cieling. Plus, whether you're inside or out, the ball may still go out of bounds if you hit it too hard. So, in summary, all you beefcakes (tee-hee, thats a funny word) '''DO NOT '''put all your strength into hitting it if you're in the front row.